Natural Hair or Relaxed Hair? Your Hair, Your Choice, Your Journey!

By Lady Carolyn M. Summerset
Crowning Glory — Coils & Kinks

Originally published August 20, 2014 | Refreshed October 2026

Hello, my beautiful Curl Friends!

Today, we're having a conversation that I believe is just as important now as it was when I first wrote about it in 2014.

Natural hair versus relaxed hair.

Oh, ladies! If you've been part of the natural hair community for any length of time, you already know that this subject can stir up some serious opinions!

Some women proudly embrace their natural curls, coils, and kinks. Others enjoy the versatility of chemically relaxed hair. And still others transition between the two throughout their lives.

But here's the question I want us to consider:

When did another woman's hairstyle become something she had to defend?

Looking Back: A YouTuber's Hair Journey

Back in August 2014, I wrote about a popular natural hair YouTuber known as SimplyYounique.

I had followed her journey from her big chop through her remarkable hair growth. She shared hairstyles, product reviews, and encouragement with women learning to care for their natural hair.

Then she announced that she was returning to relaxed hair.

That decision created quite a conversation among her followers.

Some viewers supported her decision, while others questioned why she would return to chemical relaxers after growing such beautiful natural hair.

At the time, I found those reactions interesting.

Looking back today, however, I see an even bigger lesson.

We can admire someone's natural hair journey without believing that we have ownership over the decisions they make about their hair.

Her announcement was a moment in the natural hair conversation of 2014. It does not tell us what her current hair choices or preferences may be.

Why Women Choose Natural Hair

For many women, going natural is more than changing hairstyles.

It may represent freedom from years of chemical processing, rediscovering natural texture, reconnecting with cultural identity, or learning to appreciate features they were once encouraged to change.

Some women discover that their natural hair is easier to manage once they understand its needs.

Others simply love the fullness, versatility, and beauty of their curls and coils.

And there is something deeply satisfying about discovering what your own hair can do!

Whether you're rocking a beautiful Afro, a twist-out, braids, locs, or a wash-and-go, your natural hair deserves care and appreciation.

Why Some Women Choose Relaxed Hair

Now, let's talk about the other side of the conversation.

Some women prefer relaxed hair because they enjoy particular styling options, a straighter appearance, or routines that fit their lifestyles.

Others may have worn their natural hair for years and simply want a change.

That doesn't automatically mean they dislike their natural texture.

However, chemical relaxing is not without risks. Relaxers permanently alter the hair's structure and can contribute to breakage or scalp injury when misused. Research has also raised concerns about possible associations between frequent use of certain hair-straightening products and health outcomes.

For women considering relaxers, informed choices, appropriate professional guidance, and attention to scalp and hair health matter.

Personal choice and informed decision-making should go hand in hand.

Your Hair Journey Is Allowed to Change

Ladies, I began my own natural hair journey in March 2010.

And let me tell you, I have learned a few things along the way!

I have experienced beautiful curl days, frustrating wash-and-go attempts, unexpected shrinkage, product disappointments, and moments when my hair simply had a mind of its own!

LOL!

But those experiences taught me something.

Our hair changes with time, styling habits, environmental conditions, and sometimes the different seasons of our lives.

And our preferences may change, too.

You are not obligated to wear the same hairstyle forever simply because it once represented an important chapter of your journey.

A change in hairstyle does not erase the lessons you learned along the way.

Let's Stop Comparing Our Crowns

Sometimes social media makes it easy to believe that there is only one acceptable way to look beautiful.

We see perfectly defined curls, waist-length hair, intricate protective styles, and fabulous silk presses.

Before long, we may find ourselves comparing our hair to someone else's.

But here's what I've learned:

Your hair does not have to resemble another woman's hair to be beautiful.

Your curls do not have to be perfectly defined.

Your strands do not have to reach your waist.

And your hairstyle does not determine your worth.

Whether natural, relaxed, transitioning, gray, short, long, tightly coiled, or loosely curled, you are more than the hairstyle you wear.

Healthy Hair Matters More Than Hair Debates

Instead of arguing about which hairstyle is better, perhaps we should spend more time talking about healthy hair practices.

That means understanding our individual hair needs, avoiding excessive tension, protecting our scalp, using appropriate conditioning products, and recognizing signs of damage.

For natural hair, that might include gentle detangling and moisture management.

For relaxed hair, it may also mean careful attention to chemical processing, minimizing overlapping treatments, and avoiding excessive heat.

And for everyone, a simple, manageable routine can make all the difference.

Because healthy hair care is not a competition.

It's a commitment to caring for the crown you have.

My Final Thoughts: The Crown Is Yours

Ladies, here is what I want you to remember.

The natural hair movement opened doors for many women to embrace textures that had too often been overlooked, criticized, or misunderstood.

That history matters.

The beauty of natural hair matters.

And the freedom to appreciate our natural textures is something worth celebrating.

But empowerment should also leave room for personal choice.

We can encourage a woman to love her natural hair without criticizing her for wearing it differently.

We can celebrate our curls without turning another woman's decision into a debate.

And we can share our experiences without expecting everyone to follow the same path.

Your crown. Your choice. Your journey.

Wear it with confidence, care for it with love, and never allow someone else's opinion to become the measure of your beauty.

More From Crowning Glory — Coils & Kinks

1. The Ultimate 3C & 4A Wash-and-Go: Beautiful Curl Definition Without All the Frizz!

Interested in embracing your natural curls? Explore my guide to achieving soft, defined curls while managing frizz.

https://crowningglorycoilsandkinks.blogspot.com/2015/07/3c-frizz-free-wash-and-go-method.html

2. What Does 3C and 4A Natural Hair Really Look Like?

Discover the variety of textures, curl patterns, and beautiful characteristics that make natural hair so unique.

https://crowningglorycoilsandkinks.blogspot.com/2016/12/still-confused-about-what-3c-4a-natural.html

3. Keep Calm and Love Your Natural Hair: Your Crown, Your Beauty, Your Journey!

Need a little encouragement? This article is a reminder to celebrate your own beauty and enjoy the natural hair journey at your own pace.

https://crowningglorycoilsandkinks.blogspot.com/2015/09/keep-calm.html

Let's Talk, Ladies!

Now, I want to hear from you!

Have you ever felt pressured to remain natural or to straighten your hair?

Have you ever changed your hairstyle and received unexpected criticism?

And here's another question:

Do you believe women should feel free to change their hairstyles without having to explain their decisions?

Come on, ladies! Let's have a respectful, encouraging conversation in the comments.

Until next time, love your curls, embrace your coils, and celebrate every beautiful kink!

Happy Curls to You!

Lady Carolyn M. Summerset

© 2026 Crowning Glory — Coils & Kinks by Lady Carolyn M. Summerset. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or republished without prior written permission of the author.