Originally Published: February 8, 2013
Refreshed: October 2026
By Lady Carolyn M. Summerset
Crowning Glory — Coils & Kinks
Learning to Love and Understand Our Natural Curls
Hello, my beautiful naturalistas!
Have you ever spent hours washing, conditioning, detangling, and styling your beautiful natural curls, only to discover that your hair seems to have a mind of its own?
Ladies, I know that feeling!
One of the most exciting parts of my natural hair journey has been discovering different techniques that help us understand and care for our curls, coils, and kinks.
Back in February 2013, I introduced my readers to a fascinating approach known as the Tightly Curly Method, developed by Teri LaFlesh, author of Curly Like Me: How to Grow Your Hair Healthy, Long, and Strong.
Her philosophy encouraged women with tightly curled hair to embrace their natural texture, reduce unnecessary manipulation, and develop a routine that helped their curls remain defined and manageable.
And ladies, there are some wonderful lessons we can still learn from this method today!
Who Is Teri LaFlesh?
Teri LaFlesh is an author and natural hair-care advocate known for her work with tightly curled hair.
Through her personal experiences, she developed a method of caring for curls that emphasized conditioning, gentle detangling, and working with the hair's natural curl formation.
Her book, Curly Like Me, helped introduce many women to techniques that challenged traditional approaches to managing tightly textured hair.
One of the messages I appreciate most is that our curls do not need to be fought, forced, or constantly manipulated.
They need to be understood.
And isn't that a beautiful perspective?
What Exactly Is the Tightly Curly Method?
The Tightly Curly Method is a hair-care routine designed around keeping curls conditioned, minimizing tangles, defining individual curl groupings, and reducing unnecessary breakage from rough handling.
One distinctive feature of Teri's original approach was her use of regular conditioner as a leave-in styling product.
Rather than relying on numerous styling creams and gels, her method used conditioner and careful curl separation to create definition.
However, there's an important consideration for today's readers.
Not every rinse-out conditioner is formulated to remain on the hair or scalp. Some ingredients may cause buildup or irritation when used contrary to product directions.
For everyday leave-in conditioning, I recommend choosing a product specifically labeled for that purpose.
We can appreciate Teri's original technique while making adjustments that suit our individual hair and the products available today.
Six Valuable Lessons From the Tightly Curly Method
1. Be Gentle With Your Curls
Tightly curled hair can become tangled when strands twist and wrap around one another.
Forceful brushing or combing may lead to unnecessary breakage.
Whenever possible, work in manageable sections and use a conditioner or detangling product that provides plenty of slip.
Begin at the ends of your hair and gradually work toward the roots.
Remember, ladies, our beautiful strands deserve patience!
2. Avoid Pulling and Stretching Tangled Hair
One of the original method's important messages was to avoid pulling tangled hair apart aggressively.
If you encounter a stubborn knot, stop and work through it carefully.
Sometimes a little additional conditioner and gentle finger detangling can make all the difference.
The objective isn't to finish wash day as quickly as possible.
It's to care for our strands while minimizing avoidable damage.
3. Handle Fine Curls With Special Care
Here's something that particularly resonates with me.
I have fine natural strands with 3C and 4A characteristics, and I've discovered that delicate curls can require a gentle touch.
Even when a head of hair appears full and thick, individual strands may be fine.
That's why it's important not to confuse hair density with strand thickness.
A lightweight leave-in conditioner may provide plenty of conditioning without making fine curls feel heavy.
4. Patience Is Part of the Process
Ladies, natural hair care isn't always a five-minute affair!
Detangling, conditioning, and defining tightly curled hair may take time.
But developing a manageable routine can make that process easier.
Try dividing your hair into sections, finding products that provide adequate slip, and avoiding unnecessary manipulation.
Your routine should work with your schedule and your hair's needs.
5. Protect Your Ends
The original discussion of the Tightly Curly Method included the idea that careful hair care might reduce the need for frequent trimming.
And while preventing damage is certainly important, split or extensively damaged ends may still require trimming.
There is no universal trimming schedule that works for everyone.
Pay attention to your ends, watch for excessive tangling or splitting, and trim when necessary.
Remember that trimming doesn't increase the rate of hair growth from the scalp.
It can, however, help maintain healthier-looking ends.
6. Embrace the Beauty of Your Natural Texture
Perhaps the most meaningful lesson is learning to appreciate the curl pattern you already have.
Whether your hair forms loose spirals, tight corkscrews, springy coils, or beautiful zigzag patterns, your crown deserves appreciation.
Curl definition is a styling preference, not a measure of hair health or beauty.
And ladies, we don't have to look exactly like someone else's favorite natural hair photograph!
The Seven Steps of the Tightly Curly Method
Teri's method can be summarized through seven familiar stages:
Cleanse, Condition, Comb, Define, Dry, Protect, and Refresh.
Let's look at how these principles can fit into a modern natural hair-care routine.
Step 1: Cleanse Your Hair and Scalp
Begin with a gentle cleanser suited to your scalp and styling habits.
Massage your scalp carefully and rinse thoroughly.
Clean hair provides a fresh foundation for conditioning and styling.
Step 2: Condition Your Strands
Apply a conditioner appropriate for your hair, paying particular attention to the lengths and ends.
Allow the product to remain on your hair for the recommended time, then rinse according to its instructions.
If you need additional moisture and manageability, follow with a leave-in conditioner.
Step 3: Detangle Carefully
Work through your curls in small sections.
Use your fingers, a wide-tooth comb, or a suitable detangling brush.
Always choose a tool and technique that allow you to remove tangles without excessive pulling.
Step 4: Define Your Curls
Apply your preferred styling product and gently smooth it through your curls.
Some women enjoy finger-coiling, while others prefer smoothing individual curl groupings or simply allowing their natural pattern to form.
There's no single perfect technique.
Choose what works for your texture, density, and styling preferences.
Step 5: Allow Your Hair to Dry
Air-drying is one option for maintaining curl definition.
A diffuser on an appropriate setting can also be helpful when you want to reduce drying time.
Avoid unnecessary friction and excessive heat.
Step 6: Protect Your Curls at Night
A satin or silk bonnet, scarf, or pillowcase can help reduce friction while you sleep.
Depending on your length and density, you might also loosely gather your hair to help preserve your curls.
Nighttime protection can make refreshing your hairstyle the following morning much easier.
Step 7: Refresh Your Curls as Needed
In the morning, examine your curls before reaching for more products.
Sometimes your hair may only need gentle reshaping.
On other mornings, a little water or a lightweight curl refresher may help.
Avoid repeatedly adding heavy layers of product when your hair doesn't need them.
Is the Tightly Curly Method Good for 3C and 4A Hair?
The principles of gentle detangling, adequate conditioning, and reduced manipulation can be useful for many curl patterns, including 3C and 4A textures.
However, results will vary.
Some women may achieve several days of definition, while others may prefer restyling more frequently.
The important thing is to discover a routine that helps your hair feel comfortable, manageable, and cared for.
For fine natural hair, I especially encourage paying attention to how much conditioner or styling product you apply.
Sometimes using a smaller amount is the difference between beautifully defined curls and strands that feel weighed down.
What I Appreciate Most About Teri's Approach
When I revisit this article from 2013, I appreciate how much the natural hair community was learning and sharing.
We were exploring new methods, experimenting with different products, and discovering that our natural textures offered so many styling possibilities.
Teri LaFlesh's approach was part of that conversation.
It encouraged women to treat tightly curled hair with gentleness, patience, and respect.
And those principles remain important.
You don't have to adopt every detail of a particular method to benefit from its ideas.
Learn from it, adapt it, and make it your own.
After all, ladies, no one knows your crown quite like you do!
Continue Your Natural Hair Journey
If you're looking for additional ways to care for your natural curls, enjoy these related articles from Crowning Glory — Coils & Kinks.
1. The Ultimate 3C & 4A Wash-and-Go Guide
Explore techniques for achieving beautiful curl definition while managing frizz.
Learn how nighttime protection can help preserve your curls and minimize friction.
3. 10 Ways to Keep Your Natural Hair Moisturized
Discover practical habits for maintaining softness, moisture, and manageability.
Let's Talk, Ladies!
Have you ever tried the Tightly Curly Method?
Do you prefer a lightweight leave-in conditioner, curl cream, or gel when defining your natural curls?
And what technique has made the biggest difference in your wash-day routine?
Share your experiences in the comments below!
Remember:
Your natural curls are not a problem to be solved. They are a beautiful crown to be cared for and celebrated!
Until next time, my beautiful naturalistas…
Happy Curls to You, My Friend!
Lady Carolyn M. Summerset
Crowning Glory — Coils & Kinks
© 2026 Crowning Glory — Coils & Kinks by Lady Carolyn M. Summerset. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or republished without prior written permission of the author.
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